Jingles

At the end of last semester, Catherine and I had our kids write jingles to sum up what they knew about the Aztecs, inca and Maya. Here now, a month later, are the top quality ones.

(this one is sung to the tune of "Dashing Through the Snow")
Dashing through the swamp
In a one llama open sleigh
Through the grass bridges we go
Yelling Quechua all the way.
People about to die
By being sacrificed
Oh what fun it is to collapse
Someone else’s land!
All the slaves and warriors
They were sacrificed
Just to be tribute to
The gods in the skies.
They started to collapse
When Pizarro came and robbed.
Their king never returned
Because he was kidnapped.
We used chinampas to farm
To grow tobacco, tomatoes, and peppers.
Sweet potatoes corn and beans
In their swampy area.
They saw death, they saw death
As an honorable thing!
Oh they thought that killing
People was a sport.

(this one is sung to, I believe, "My Name Is" by Eminem..... and it did NOT get a good grade because I TOLD them a hudnred times to focus on more than just killing people....)

Hey kids, do you like violence? (yeah, yeah!) Do you want to see us the Maya, Aztec, Inc stick three-inch nails on each one of our eyelids? (OK!) Then you better watch us sacrifice all these people and play the death game. (Alright!) Which is the reason why we’re all gonna be extinct in exactly 100 years of less, expect the Inca. (I know!) Hi, our cultures name is (huh?) our name is (what?) our names are the Aztec, Inc and Maya (awesome!). Now watch up buy slaves just with one llama to stick a sword through his guts and eat them (Cool!). Now watch me sacrifice this person by cutting his head off with my sword (Sweet!) We’re all gonna die now because we’re all gonna be sacrificed now. Remember out names, the Maya, Aztec and Inca (Yes!) (Uh…. Die sound) Time to celebrate by eating our crops now!


(not sung to the tune of anything really...)

I am the Maya
I do the farm work
While my sisters do the chores
I believe religion
Is the center of life
Our people invented
The number zero
Our people sacrificed
All our slaves
We know…. How to….
Protect us with walls
So you better not mess with us at all
Bt if you ever want to meet us
We’ll never be there
Teotihuacán is our capital
And we disappeared
Oh…
I am the Aztec
I get educated till
I’m ten
You better pay a tribute
If you don’t want to die
You can visit us by the gulf
But you better not betray us
Like Hernan Cortez
He is the reason
We all are dead
Oh…
I am the Inca
You can find us
By the Andes
I hope you’re healthy
Cause you have to climb high
I live on a farmland
The mountains are hard to farm…
We don’t use chinampas
So terrace farming is for us
We call our selves
The “Children of the Sun”
You better not betray us
Or we’ll kill you all
You better not be
Francisco Pizarro
Because we’ll kill you all
So which one of us do you like the best?
Is it me?
Is it me?
Is it me?
Or is it me?????

(sung to.... what else? Yes, "Jingle Bells")

Jingle bells, Aztecs kill, conquistadors are from hell, we hate them, they hate us, they are conquering us, oh! This battle will be recorded in the best codices in Tenochtitlan, we’re running out, of food, from our chinampas, ah Quetzlcoatl must ate us, he needs more sacrifices, what fun it is to die from the Spanish armada tonight, oh!
Jingle bells, Incas, tell, stories from oral tradition, right now they sing of Pizarro conquering civilization, first he wanted gold, then he took Sappa Inca, then he held him ransom and ended up killing him, oh!
Jingle bells, Mayas are scholars, they invented zero, they were great stonemasons, they had a calendar, and used a codex, ho ho ho, they played death ball, talk about organized culture, this concludes my presentation.

(this one too is sung to the tune of.... nothing....)

Maya, Aztecs, Incas too… Let us tell you something new!
Sacrifices were important. Religion made an impact too… the Maya and Aztecs in Mesoamerica, he Incas lived in South American, so let us tell you something new.
The Incas loved their llamas, for they were essential for their needs: traveling, fertilizing crops, wool for clothing, and transport too! The Incas used terrace farming for growing leveled crops while the Aztecs used chinampas as floating gardens to grow food!
Aztec, Mayan calendars, keep track to play their games. They use their hips to hit the ball, losers get sacrificed after all! Inti, Chac, Quetzlcoatl, are the sun gods that the three empires praised! Incas, Aztecs, Mayas did religious sacrifices to please their gods as a tribute all in all!
Men were priests, warriors, hunters too. Women cooked, made clothes, created medicine. Women often married to Royal Families who lived in distant states, which created an alliance! These were the Mayan roles! Girls were taught to stay home, but those who got pregnant were honored. Women were skilled craftsmen too. Men were told to be tough and were farmers, artisans or traders. They could join the noble class, by doing one act of bravery. These were the Aztec roles!
The Mayas weren’t so nice. They threw captives into watery pits to please their gods, which wasn’t very polite. Aztecs, Incas, were conquered by conquistadors. Cortes defeated Aztecs, where Pizarro defeated the Incas
Nobody knows how Mayan’s empire collapsed. Aztecs are dead because of Cortez. Inca’s ended because of the Spaniards. Hope you enjoyed our jingle and maybe it will become a single.